I promised myself I was going to be honest on this platform, as this blog is basically my self-talk in the weeks leading up to the Olympic Marathon. And honestly, I’m freaking out a bit! Not in a bad way, though. Not in an “I’m panicking” or “I can’t do this” kind of way. But in a “I don’t want to mess this up!” kind of way.

Let me explain. After it was official that I was going to the Olympics, about two months ago, the first thing that comes to mind is: “I’m going to enjoy this, this will be awesome!” and “No pressure, you made it this far already!” As the weeks go on, and the training unfolds, I felt a different feeling creeping up. Hopes and expectations started to form, but you can easily stow them away, because there’s still so much work to do. Now, we’re inching closer to the race, and the physical work is almost finished. What follows is maybe even more challenging. Managing the mental aspect. The freaking out I was talking about, mostly entails a feeling of not wanting to mess things up. Everything went almost perfectly up until now.

Usually before a race, I’m able to dismiss these feelings with simple, but effective thoughts: “It’s just running. No one really cares.” And it is still just running. But the second sentence is harder to ignore. People do care. After watching the Opening Ceremony, I’m quite confident that Paris cares a whole lot. And most importantly, the people around me care. I’m receiving the most wonderful messages of encouragements, as well as pictures of flags and t-shirts and decorations. Family and friends that are preparing to celebrate that day with me. I know that whatever happens, they are still proud of me. I don’t feel pressure to perform from them at all. But I am feeling the opportunity. A chance of a lifetime. Qualifying for the Olympics was great, but to be able to showcase all that you have worked for on the biggest stage ever, is a bit daunting. I’m very close to arriving in Paris with a near perfect preparation, and that is both exciting and scary.

Being in great shape is by no means a guarantee for success, but it essential if you want to have a shot. There are no miracles in the marathon. No shortcuts and no real surprises. It would be easiest to undersell my ambitions for Paris. I’m still young for a marathon runner. I don’t have experience with a championship marathon, as I’ve only raced paced marathons for a fast time. I’m could say I’m in Paris to gain experience for the future. I’m not going to say those things. Who knows if I’m still going to have an opportunity like this. Qualifying for the Olympics was hard, getting there in shape is a blessing. I don’t want to pass on this opportunity by creating excuses beforehand.

So, now I have to find the balance between excitement and calm confidence. I’ll tell myself the cliché that pressure is a privilege. That I’m in a position I never thought I’d be in. The next ten days will be about keeping the body moving while freshening up, physically and mentally.

We’re almost there!